During the holidays I read an interesting Beyondblue article that listed positive social skills or behaviours that promote friendship. The article made very clear that children who are good at making and keeping friends are those who use positive social skills. The article also said that parents, relatives, family friends, teachers and school staff all play a very important role in guiding children by being positive examples for them to follow and by providing opportunities for them to practise their social skills. Key social skills listed in the article included, cooperation, communication, empathy, emotional control and responsibility.
It came as no surprise to read that all children go through friendship conflicts; even usually popular children experience rejection. When this happens children's confidence can be affected or they may blame themselves or others. The article explained that when friendship issues arise, and they will, there are some kinds of thinking that are more helpful than others. The following is short a list of positive social skills that should be encouraged in conflict situations as opposed to poor social skills that make issues worse.
| Positive Behaviours | Poor Behaviours |
| Taking turns | Arguing |
| Starting conversations | Interrupting |
| Complimenting others | Bossing others |
| Apologising | Showing off |
| Asking questions | Name-calling |
| Fair play | Being a sore loser |
| Being a good listener | Talking too much |
| Helping others | Taking others' possessions |
Joe De Tullio